Monday, March 1, 2010

If Your Body's Sexed Female, What You Can't Do in the Olympics

  776 BC    Can't participate or watch males participate in those first Olympics in Greece unless you're a prostitute or a virgin (and then you can't participate publicly because the males you have to watch are naked).

1896 AD    Can't compete in the first modern Olympics in Greece, for, as Baron Pierre de Coubertin felt, a female's inclusion in the games would be "impractical, uninteresting, unaesthetic, and incorrect."   

1900 AD    Can't compete in anything but lawn tennis, ballooning, croquet, and golf in the Paris Olympics, where 11 female's did just that.

1912 AD    Can't compete in swimming events, if you're also from America, which barred its female athletes from competing unless wearing long skirts (in the Stockholm Olympics).

1928 AD    Can't fall at the end of the 800-meter race or else you'll be banned from that event until 1960 even if track and field (now back in Stockholm Olympics) has been generally opened to you.

1932 AD    Can't tie for gold in the high jump if you're also Babe Didrikson, at home in America in the Los Angeles Olympics, where your jumping style is ruled illegal.   

1968 AD    Can't participate in all the events men can (only 12 compared to 21) in Grenoble's Winter Olympics.

1980 AD  Can't be a member of the International Olympic Committee (until next year maybe). 

1996 AD    Can't play baseball even if you do get softball and soccer for the first time in the Olympics where by adding these sports Americans are liable to win more gold medals in Atlanta, Georgia USA.

1998 AD    Can't excel in snowboarding, curling, or women's ice hockey until you go to Nagano near the end of the twentieth century.

2000 AD    Can't participate in boxing and still can't play baseball in Sydney.

2010 AD    Can't ski jump in Vancouver even if you're Lindsey Van and you've set the world record over all women and all men too.

2012 AD    Can't play softball anymore (since males can't play baseball anymore -- see how equal that is?)


Gary said...

I am happy clothing materials have been discovered that are light enough to not significantly hinder athletes.

I know it has nothing to do with your point, Kurk, but I stand by it. Less public nudity = better.

J. K. Gayle said...

Gary, Interesting point. This whole issue comes up In the Beginning, In the Garden, doesn't it?